Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Updating?
Hey guys. I'm really sorry that I haven't updated in a while, I've just been extremely busy with basketball and everything. I'll update as soon as possible, sorry for the wait!!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Chapter Ten
When we pulled up to his house, I could understand why he was nervous. I could feel my face heat up, and my heart pound quicker and quicker with every step. Come on, Haley. This is just Sid. No reason to be worried. When we got inside, he turned on a light right inside the door. “Do you want a tour or something?” he asked. “Uh, no. That’s ok,” I answered. “Oh…alright. Well, do you want to watch a movie or…?” he asked, awkwardly. “Oh shut up,” I said, grabbing a fistful of his t-shirt and pulling him closer to me. The next second his lips were on mine. I slipped my fingers under his shirt, and watched him flinch. “Your hands are freezing,” he complained. I laughed and pressed my hands harder into his back, which made him actually smile. We were in mid-kiss when his phone started vibrating. At first he ignored it, but I told him to get it. “What’s up Flower?” he asked. I could hear talking on the other end, but couldn’t figure out what he was saying. “We forgot your friends,” he said, holding the phone away from his face. “They don’t have a ride.” “I completely forgot about that,” I said, laughing, “Tell Marc to figure something out.” He conveyed the message and hung up before Flower could say anything else. After about five minutes of making out, I found myself in what looked to be Sidney’s room. We sort of toppled over onto the bed and he began kissing my neck, making me shudder. “I wish you would have worn looser pants,” he said, attempting pulling mine down. I started unbuttoning his shirt in between kisses. He unzipped my sweatshirt and ripped off my tank top. I worked on his belt, and finally slipped off his pants. Here we were. Laying on a bed. Going completely against our morals. This is love. I said to myself. “Sid, n-no sex before…marriage,” I managed to gasp. “Shut up,” he said fiercely. I laughed, a quick breath. I shuddered as he stood up, taking me with him. He got on the bed and leaned up against the headboard, I got on shakily and straddled his hips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my back. My fingers grasped at his hair. “Am I going too fast?” he whispered. I didn’t answer, but pulled him closer and shut him up with a kiss. I gripped his muscular arms. This went on for about another half hour, and in the end we were tired, but still had our virginity. He gave me a t-shirt and shorts to sleep in, and I fell asleep, nuzzled up beside him, more comfortable then I had been in a long time.
The next Morning, I woke up to kisses all over my face and neck. “Morning,” he said, not sounding tired. It was barely even light out, so I smacked him in the arm and rolled over. “Get up, lazy. I have to be at the arena in a half hour,” he said, hitting me with a pillow. “Well what the hell does that have to do with me getting up?” I asked, grabbing the pillow out of his hands and throwing it on the floor. “Uh, because you’re coming with me,” he said like it should be obvious. “Sidney! It’s 4:30! In the morning!” I yelled. “Morning skate’s at 5,” he said, winking at me. “UUUGGGHHH,” I said, getting up. I heard him laughing as he walked into the bathroom. I brushed my hair and teeth, and I wore my jeans from the night before, a gray RBK sweatshirt that Sid let me borrow, and brown Uggs. I could barely keep my eyes open as we drove in the semi-darkness to Mellon. When we walked down towards the rink, I could see four girls’ heads sitting in the first row. I was instantly bombarded by them, but I couldn’t tell if they were mad or not because they were yelling at me and smiling at the same time. “I want details! Don’t leave anything out, Haley I swear to God!” Leah said, and the others all nodded their agreement. “Relax, guys!” I said laughing. “Hey, listen here buddy. I’m an Italian from New Jersey and I know how to fight. Haley is my best friend and if you hurt her, I’ll hurt you,” Riley said, pointing her finger at Sid. “Alright Snooki,” he said, laughing and putting his hands up in fake surrender. He gave me a quick kiss before heading down onto the ice. “Don’t hold back,” Morgan said, leaning forward. “What do you wanna know?” I asked, smiling. “Did you sleep together?!” Three of them shouted at the same time. I paused, “…No,” I said slowly. “Bullshit!” Riley yelled, causing a few people to look our way. “Guys, leave her alone. She’ll tell you if she wants to,” Megan said, giving me a look which I knew meant tell me or I’ll kill you. “Ah, alright. We didn’t exactly ‘sleep together,’” I said, choosing my words. “What do you mean ‘exactly’?” Morgan asked. “Well…we didn’t go the whole way. It was close though. I don’t know, I think that’s enough details. You can imagine whatever you want,” I said. “DAMN,” Leah said. “I’m pretty sure Kris Letang is the sexiest thing on this earth,” she said, exhaling slowly, shaking her head. “Definitely,” I laughed, glad for the change of topic. “Oh, boy. Jordan’s so hot I’m surprised he doesn’t melt the ice,” Morgan said. “Marc-Andre is mine,” Megan chimed in. “I get Max, then,” Riley smirked. They all looked over at me, expecting me to say something about Sid I guess. When they saw that I was just sitting there staring at him, Megan said it for me, “She’s got Sid.”
The next Morning, I woke up to kisses all over my face and neck. “Morning,” he said, not sounding tired. It was barely even light out, so I smacked him in the arm and rolled over. “Get up, lazy. I have to be at the arena in a half hour,” he said, hitting me with a pillow. “Well what the hell does that have to do with me getting up?” I asked, grabbing the pillow out of his hands and throwing it on the floor. “Uh, because you’re coming with me,” he said like it should be obvious. “Sidney! It’s 4:30! In the morning!” I yelled. “Morning skate’s at 5,” he said, winking at me. “UUUGGGHHH,” I said, getting up. I heard him laughing as he walked into the bathroom. I brushed my hair and teeth, and I wore my jeans from the night before, a gray RBK sweatshirt that Sid let me borrow, and brown Uggs. I could barely keep my eyes open as we drove in the semi-darkness to Mellon. When we walked down towards the rink, I could see four girls’ heads sitting in the first row. I was instantly bombarded by them, but I couldn’t tell if they were mad or not because they were yelling at me and smiling at the same time. “I want details! Don’t leave anything out, Haley I swear to God!” Leah said, and the others all nodded their agreement. “Relax, guys!” I said laughing. “Hey, listen here buddy. I’m an Italian from New Jersey and I know how to fight. Haley is my best friend and if you hurt her, I’ll hurt you,” Riley said, pointing her finger at Sid. “Alright Snooki,” he said, laughing and putting his hands up in fake surrender. He gave me a quick kiss before heading down onto the ice. “Don’t hold back,” Morgan said, leaning forward. “What do you wanna know?” I asked, smiling. “Did you sleep together?!” Three of them shouted at the same time. I paused, “…No,” I said slowly. “Bullshit!” Riley yelled, causing a few people to look our way. “Guys, leave her alone. She’ll tell you if she wants to,” Megan said, giving me a look which I knew meant tell me or I’ll kill you. “Ah, alright. We didn’t exactly ‘sleep together,’” I said, choosing my words. “What do you mean ‘exactly’?” Morgan asked. “Well…we didn’t go the whole way. It was close though. I don’t know, I think that’s enough details. You can imagine whatever you want,” I said. “DAMN,” Leah said. “I’m pretty sure Kris Letang is the sexiest thing on this earth,” she said, exhaling slowly, shaking her head. “Definitely,” I laughed, glad for the change of topic. “Oh, boy. Jordan’s so hot I’m surprised he doesn’t melt the ice,” Morgan said. “Marc-Andre is mine,” Megan chimed in. “I get Max, then,” Riley smirked. They all looked over at me, expecting me to say something about Sid I guess. When they saw that I was just sitting there staring at him, Megan said it for me, “She’s got Sid.”
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
New Story!
I had a snow day today, and had nothing to do so I started a Jordan Staal story. I'm definitely not even close to being finished with the Sidney one, but just check out the Staal one if you get the chance :) And comment & subscribe to both stories please! I feel like no one is reading them hah.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Chapter Nine
“What the hell is she doing?!” Leah screeched. Morgan and Riley were just standing there with their mouth gaping open. Megan, on the other hand was practically on the floor laughing. By this point, Sidney and I had broken apart, and he was laughing too. “You didn’t tell them?” he smiled. “No, she didn’t,” Riley said, fake-glaring at me. “Don’t you think this might have been…I don’t know, something worth mentioning?” she cocked her head to the side. I laughed, “Well now you know, right? No big deal.” “Oh, right, no big deal. No big deal that you were just making out with quite possibly the best and most famous hockey player of our time?” she snapped. “You mean Sid?” I asked, smiling. “Mmmhm,” she said in a pretty ghetto way. “Megan, can you believe this?” Leah asked, her mouth still slightly open. Megan looked up from the chair she was sitting in. “Oh, nah she told me like two years ago,” she shrugged. Riley slapped her forehead. “For God’s sake…how long has this been going on?” Sid and I looked at each other and shrugged, “About…8, 9 years, would you say?” he asked, nonchalantly. “Sounds about right to me,” I nodded. We looked back at Riley in unison. “Sidney fucking Crosby…” she trailed off. “My middle name is actually Patrick. Close though. Anyway, you guys know Marc-Andre Fleury? He’s having a party tonight if you guys are interesting in coming. I’m warning you, though, avoid being alone with Max Talbot. The guy is dangerous,” Sidney said. “I guess I can flip out on you later,” Riley said to me, as we made our way to Sidney’s car.
When we got there, it was already packed. Fleury’s house was colossal, complete with a full-sized ice rink in the backyard. He was there to greet us when we walked in, man-hugging Sidney, then looking down at our interlocked hands said, “You must be Haley,” with that electric smile of his. “Yep, and you are…?” I asked jokingly. He looked at Sid confused. “She’s kidding, Flower,” Sid said and dragged me through the crowd of people. I looked back at my friends, and they were all showing some sort of sign of approval, so I went with him. “Hey, you’re hot!” I heard a husky, French voice say. “Thanks Max, not too bad yourself,” I laughed. “Oh…you’re Haley,” he said, sounding disappointed. “Yeah, I am. Is that a problem?” I asked, smiling. “Actually, yeah. But I’ll get over it. Did you bring any hot friends?” he asked. “Yeah, but the blonde one is taken so don’t try to hard with her, she’ll get mad,” I answered. “DAMN. I mean, I’m not jealous…” and then he walked away. I met a few other guys, like Jordan Staal, Kris Letang, Tyler Kennedy, and Evgeni Malkin. After a few hours, I noticed Sidney was getting kind of nervous, he was running his fingers through his hair a lot and fidgeting more than usual. “What’s wrong?” I asked, burying my face in his shoulder. He took a deep breath, “Noth-” “Don’t say nothing. I know you too well,” I interrupted. “I’m just…nervous, I guess,” he answered. “About what?” I asked. “Well…I mean, you’re in Pittsburgh. I’m in Pittsburgh. Our parents are not even in the same country as us, I have a house…do you know where this is going…?” he said slowly. “Aw, big bad hockey star is afwaid of a girl,” I cooed, running my fingers through his hair. He didn’t even smile, “No, not afraid. I just promised you it would be special and I don’t know if I can live up to any expectations this…girl…may have,” he said, turning a little bit red. “Sid,” I said harshly, “as long as you weren’t lying about not being with any other girls, I have just as little experience as you. Don’t worry about it, I don’t have any expectations because I’ve never done it before.” This made him smile a little bit, “Let’s get out of here.”
When we got there, it was already packed. Fleury’s house was colossal, complete with a full-sized ice rink in the backyard. He was there to greet us when we walked in, man-hugging Sidney, then looking down at our interlocked hands said, “You must be Haley,” with that electric smile of his. “Yep, and you are…?” I asked jokingly. He looked at Sid confused. “She’s kidding, Flower,” Sid said and dragged me through the crowd of people. I looked back at my friends, and they were all showing some sort of sign of approval, so I went with him. “Hey, you’re hot!” I heard a husky, French voice say. “Thanks Max, not too bad yourself,” I laughed. “Oh…you’re Haley,” he said, sounding disappointed. “Yeah, I am. Is that a problem?” I asked, smiling. “Actually, yeah. But I’ll get over it. Did you bring any hot friends?” he asked. “Yeah, but the blonde one is taken so don’t try to hard with her, she’ll get mad,” I answered. “DAMN. I mean, I’m not jealous…” and then he walked away. I met a few other guys, like Jordan Staal, Kris Letang, Tyler Kennedy, and Evgeni Malkin. After a few hours, I noticed Sidney was getting kind of nervous, he was running his fingers through his hair a lot and fidgeting more than usual. “What’s wrong?” I asked, burying my face in his shoulder. He took a deep breath, “Noth-” “Don’t say nothing. I know you too well,” I interrupted. “I’m just…nervous, I guess,” he answered. “About what?” I asked. “Well…I mean, you’re in Pittsburgh. I’m in Pittsburgh. Our parents are not even in the same country as us, I have a house…do you know where this is going…?” he said slowly. “Aw, big bad hockey star is afwaid of a girl,” I cooed, running my fingers through his hair. He didn’t even smile, “No, not afraid. I just promised you it would be special and I don’t know if I can live up to any expectations this…girl…may have,” he said, turning a little bit red. “Sid,” I said harshly, “as long as you weren’t lying about not being with any other girls, I have just as little experience as you. Don’t worry about it, I don’t have any expectations because I’ve never done it before.” This made him smile a little bit, “Let’s get out of here.”
Chapter Eight
[This one is a lot of me explaining things, but I felt it was sort of neccessary]
In the end, we decided that I would stay at Penn State, and then after the year was over, I would transfer to Pitt. It was going to be a tough year, after spending two months with him, then not getting to see him at all. But at least this time there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ll admit, I cried a little when he left. We hugged for about 80 years before I finally released my death-grip. After I got back to Penn State, I quickly fell back into my routine. Get up early, spend all day in class, then go downtown for a little while with my friends. That’s right, you heard me…friends. Megan, Riley, Leah and Morgan. All five of us were almost opposites. Megan was tall, thin, and tan, with straight brown hair that made it just past her shoulders. Her eyes were a light green, and she was the wild and flirtatious one of the group. Riley, was short and muscular, with wavy, almost black hair that made it about halfway down her back. Her eyes were a dark brown, and she looked like a Kardashian…acted like one too. Leah was about my height, and had beautiful straight red hair, and light gray eyes. On the surface, she seems like a nice girl, but once you get to know her…just hope you’re on her good side. Morgan was tall and thin, and had flawless pale skin and eyes that reminded me of sea turtles (as weird as that sounds, you have to see it to know what I mean). Her wavy blonde hair cascaded down her back, making her look like some sort of fairy. Her looks matched her personality, which was calm, easy-going, and always out to find the good in people. She never had a bad word to say about anyone, she was oddly observant, and could usually guess what I was thinking about. I, on the other hand, had straight, layered, dark brown hair that just brushed my shoulder-blades. My eyes were a deep blue color, and I had a few freckles sprinkled across my nose, which I hated. I wasn’t tall, but I wasn’t short (about 5’ 6”), and kept a pretty good tan even in the winter months. The five of us were tighter than spandex, and I honestly started loving them. I hate to say it, but I finally started having a life when I was 20 years old. Megan and I were still roommates, and so were Leah and Riley. Morgan lived in an apartment close-by with her boyfriend Colby. Megan was still the only one who knew about Sidney, but I’m almost positive that Riley saw the pictures of he and I through the years when she was standing in the door of me and Megan’s dorm. I took them down the next day, not wanting to explain my situation. Except to Megan, who practically could recite every word Sidney and I had ever said to each other because I told her so much about it. It’s hard to keep that kind of thing to yourself.
Although they helped keep my mind on other things, Sidney was still permanently etched into my mind. Especially at times when I would see Morgan and Colby exchange a quick kiss, or a hug, or even when the word love was mentioned. Leah, who was originally from Pittsburgh, surprised us all with tickets to a Pens game in December. Apparently, her dad was close friends with Dan Bylsma so she got them for free. “Guys, I think it would be cool if we could all wear different jerseys,” Morgan said. In the end, Megan would be wearing Fleury, Riley in Letang, Leah sporting Staal, Morgan wearing Crosby…and me in Talbot. When Morgan called wearing the Crosby jersey, Megan looked at me and couldn’t control her laughter. I rolled my eyes, but laughed too. Since we were representing a lot of guys on the team, they put us on the Jumbotron a few times. The highlight of the whole game though, was seeing Sidney. Maybe not up close, but watching him skate, and knowing that we were in the same building, made my heart literally beat 2o times faster. After the game, we were sitting in the hotel, thinking about going out somewhere. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I excused myself down the hall, and dialed Sid’s number. He picked up on the first ring. “I love you,” was his greeting, which made me smile. “Are you busy tonight?” I asked. “Uh, I have a party at Max’s. Why?” he asked. “Well, I’m in Pittsburgh. I went to the game tonight,” I answered slowly. “Plans cancelled,” he said. I laughed, “You don’t have to do that. Have a good time, maybe I’ll see you before we leave tomorrow,” but I was desperately hoping that he wouldn’t listen to me. “No, no way! I’ve been trying to plan a time when I could come to State College to see you, but so far I’ve been busy just about every day. Are you staying at a hotel?” he asked. “Yeah…uh the Doubletree right near Mellon,” I said. “Oh I know exactly where that is. I’ll pick you up in like an hour,” he said, happily. “Do you mind if some of my friends come?” I asked. “Your what?” he asked jokingly. “Shut up,” I laughed, and hung up the phone. “Guys! Get ready, I have a surprise coming for you in about an hour,” I said, entering the hotel room. None of them asked questions, but I could tell they had no idea what was going on. It was the longest hour of my life, but when I got a text saying that he was in the lobby, I couldn’t help but smile like crazy. The elevator seemed to take hours rather than seconds. But when the doors opened, and I saw him, it felt like a million bricks were lifted off my shoulders. I don’t even remember walking over to him, but next thing I knew I was in his arms, kissing him like never before.
In the end, we decided that I would stay at Penn State, and then after the year was over, I would transfer to Pitt. It was going to be a tough year, after spending two months with him, then not getting to see him at all. But at least this time there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ll admit, I cried a little when he left. We hugged for about 80 years before I finally released my death-grip. After I got back to Penn State, I quickly fell back into my routine. Get up early, spend all day in class, then go downtown for a little while with my friends. That’s right, you heard me…friends. Megan, Riley, Leah and Morgan. All five of us were almost opposites. Megan was tall, thin, and tan, with straight brown hair that made it just past her shoulders. Her eyes were a light green, and she was the wild and flirtatious one of the group. Riley, was short and muscular, with wavy, almost black hair that made it about halfway down her back. Her eyes were a dark brown, and she looked like a Kardashian…acted like one too. Leah was about my height, and had beautiful straight red hair, and light gray eyes. On the surface, she seems like a nice girl, but once you get to know her…just hope you’re on her good side. Morgan was tall and thin, and had flawless pale skin and eyes that reminded me of sea turtles (as weird as that sounds, you have to see it to know what I mean). Her wavy blonde hair cascaded down her back, making her look like some sort of fairy. Her looks matched her personality, which was calm, easy-going, and always out to find the good in people. She never had a bad word to say about anyone, she was oddly observant, and could usually guess what I was thinking about. I, on the other hand, had straight, layered, dark brown hair that just brushed my shoulder-blades. My eyes were a deep blue color, and I had a few freckles sprinkled across my nose, which I hated. I wasn’t tall, but I wasn’t short (about 5’ 6”), and kept a pretty good tan even in the winter months. The five of us were tighter than spandex, and I honestly started loving them. I hate to say it, but I finally started having a life when I was 20 years old. Megan and I were still roommates, and so were Leah and Riley. Morgan lived in an apartment close-by with her boyfriend Colby. Megan was still the only one who knew about Sidney, but I’m almost positive that Riley saw the pictures of he and I through the years when she was standing in the door of me and Megan’s dorm. I took them down the next day, not wanting to explain my situation. Except to Megan, who practically could recite every word Sidney and I had ever said to each other because I told her so much about it. It’s hard to keep that kind of thing to yourself.
Although they helped keep my mind on other things, Sidney was still permanently etched into my mind. Especially at times when I would see Morgan and Colby exchange a quick kiss, or a hug, or even when the word love was mentioned. Leah, who was originally from Pittsburgh, surprised us all with tickets to a Pens game in December. Apparently, her dad was close friends with Dan Bylsma so she got them for free. “Guys, I think it would be cool if we could all wear different jerseys,” Morgan said. In the end, Megan would be wearing Fleury, Riley in Letang, Leah sporting Staal, Morgan wearing Crosby…and me in Talbot. When Morgan called wearing the Crosby jersey, Megan looked at me and couldn’t control her laughter. I rolled my eyes, but laughed too. Since we were representing a lot of guys on the team, they put us on the Jumbotron a few times. The highlight of the whole game though, was seeing Sidney. Maybe not up close, but watching him skate, and knowing that we were in the same building, made my heart literally beat 2o times faster. After the game, we were sitting in the hotel, thinking about going out somewhere. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I excused myself down the hall, and dialed Sid’s number. He picked up on the first ring. “I love you,” was his greeting, which made me smile. “Are you busy tonight?” I asked. “Uh, I have a party at Max’s. Why?” he asked. “Well, I’m in Pittsburgh. I went to the game tonight,” I answered slowly. “Plans cancelled,” he said. I laughed, “You don’t have to do that. Have a good time, maybe I’ll see you before we leave tomorrow,” but I was desperately hoping that he wouldn’t listen to me. “No, no way! I’ve been trying to plan a time when I could come to State College to see you, but so far I’ve been busy just about every day. Are you staying at a hotel?” he asked. “Yeah…uh the Doubletree right near Mellon,” I said. “Oh I know exactly where that is. I’ll pick you up in like an hour,” he said, happily. “Do you mind if some of my friends come?” I asked. “Your what?” he asked jokingly. “Shut up,” I laughed, and hung up the phone. “Guys! Get ready, I have a surprise coming for you in about an hour,” I said, entering the hotel room. None of them asked questions, but I could tell they had no idea what was going on. It was the longest hour of my life, but when I got a text saying that he was in the lobby, I couldn’t help but smile like crazy. The elevator seemed to take hours rather than seconds. But when the doors opened, and I saw him, it felt like a million bricks were lifted off my shoulders. I don’t even remember walking over to him, but next thing I knew I was in his arms, kissing him like never before.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Chapter Seven
That is how I fell in love with Sidney Crosby, for about the third time. Although my mind told me that it was a bad idea, I couldn’t help but completely lose myself to him. Things went back to normal for the most part. I was definitely a lot happier with him here.
But, every time I felt that happiness, there was also dark thoughts looming in the back of my mind. Sidney was leaving again towards the end of summer, then I would be back to my ridiculous depression. This time, though, I thought it would be even worse.
I can’t count how many times “What was I thinking?” or “I shouldn’t have done this,” coursed through my head. I tried to make the most of it, though. His parents were happy to see us together again. My mom, not so much. “I thought you were just starting to get over him,” she said, her mouth a thin line. “That boy is so selfish, I’m telling you…”
I shook my head, “Why Mom?! Why? Because he came back to his hometown for the summer? That makes him selfish?” I was furious. “No, Haley,” she said quietly, but I could hear the anger in her voice.
“Because he just will not let you move on. I had to deal with your moping around since he left, and now it’s going to happen again as soon as he leaves for Pittsburgh and forgets about you. Just like last time. It’s not healthy,” she shook her head.
“Did you ever think maybe we aren’t letting go of each other because we don’t want to?” I asked, my voice practically oozing venom. “You don’t want to!” she yelled. “Sidney, on the other hand, is perfectly fine with just leaving you in the dust to go bask in the glory of his damn NHL career!”
“You’re ridiculous,” I said. “Am I? Or are you starting to realize that I’m right?” she asked. “But you aren’t right! I love him, he loves me. That’s all we need for right now. And just so you know, Mom, it was my choice to break up, not his. So don’t go blaming it on him,” I said. “Honey, I’m just trying to help you. I don’t want to see you get hurt again,” she said, softer now. “I know. But sometimes…you just have to let me make my own decisions.”
The rest of the summer went by much quicker than I wanted it to. It was a lot like that first summer that Sid and I started becoming close. We spent all of our time together, and everything was how it should be.
With about a week until Sidney was supposed to leave, those dark, depressing thoughts crept back into my head, about 20 times worse than before. That evening, at about 6, Sidney and I went down to the lake near our houses.
There were only three other people, but they left about 15 minutes after we got there. We sat on the dock for a long time, just talking. Mostly about the past. But then we started talking about what I knew was on our minds the most.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about…what happens next,” he said. I nodded, for him to go on. “I don’t think I’d be able to handle what happened last time,” he said. “But I don’t really know what choices we have,” he finished.
“Well, Penn State isn’t that far away from Pittsburgh. We could make it work if we tried. I know you’re really busy, though. Maybe we could just have a summer thing,” I suggested. “That doesn’t work for me. It’s harder than you think…leaving you for that long,” he said. “I know exactly how hard it is,” I mumbled.
But, every time I felt that happiness, there was also dark thoughts looming in the back of my mind. Sidney was leaving again towards the end of summer, then I would be back to my ridiculous depression. This time, though, I thought it would be even worse.
I can’t count how many times “What was I thinking?” or “I shouldn’t have done this,” coursed through my head. I tried to make the most of it, though. His parents were happy to see us together again. My mom, not so much. “I thought you were just starting to get over him,” she said, her mouth a thin line. “That boy is so selfish, I’m telling you…”
I shook my head, “Why Mom?! Why? Because he came back to his hometown for the summer? That makes him selfish?” I was furious. “No, Haley,” she said quietly, but I could hear the anger in her voice.
“Because he just will not let you move on. I had to deal with your moping around since he left, and now it’s going to happen again as soon as he leaves for Pittsburgh and forgets about you. Just like last time. It’s not healthy,” she shook her head.
“Did you ever think maybe we aren’t letting go of each other because we don’t want to?” I asked, my voice practically oozing venom. “You don’t want to!” she yelled. “Sidney, on the other hand, is perfectly fine with just leaving you in the dust to go bask in the glory of his damn NHL career!”
“You’re ridiculous,” I said. “Am I? Or are you starting to realize that I’m right?” she asked. “But you aren’t right! I love him, he loves me. That’s all we need for right now. And just so you know, Mom, it was my choice to break up, not his. So don’t go blaming it on him,” I said. “Honey, I’m just trying to help you. I don’t want to see you get hurt again,” she said, softer now. “I know. But sometimes…you just have to let me make my own decisions.”
The rest of the summer went by much quicker than I wanted it to. It was a lot like that first summer that Sid and I started becoming close. We spent all of our time together, and everything was how it should be.
With about a week until Sidney was supposed to leave, those dark, depressing thoughts crept back into my head, about 20 times worse than before. That evening, at about 6, Sidney and I went down to the lake near our houses.
There were only three other people, but they left about 15 minutes after we got there. We sat on the dock for a long time, just talking. Mostly about the past. But then we started talking about what I knew was on our minds the most.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about…what happens next,” he said. I nodded, for him to go on. “I don’t think I’d be able to handle what happened last time,” he said. “But I don’t really know what choices we have,” he finished.
“Well, Penn State isn’t that far away from Pittsburgh. We could make it work if we tried. I know you’re really busy, though. Maybe we could just have a summer thing,” I suggested. “That doesn’t work for me. It’s harder than you think…leaving you for that long,” he said. “I know exactly how hard it is,” I mumbled.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
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